Presenter and designer Jacqui Joseph speaks to us on losing her husband and supporting Marie Curie...
Jacqui Joseph is indisputably stylish. When we video call, she wears an impeccable flick of eyeliner and a cool T-shirt emblazoned with ‘Rock and Soul’, while her home seems the perfect blend of welcoming and elegant.
But it’s the badge on her lapel that tells the most poignant story – a daffodil, symbolising her support for Marie Curie. For, while Jacqui is a successful presenter on TV shows including Homes Under the Hammer and BBC Morning Live, like so many of us, she has sadly been touched by grief, after losing her beloved husband Andy in 2018.
‘He was a good soul, he was great, he was fun,’ says Jacqui. ‘We did everything together. We worked together. We had holidays together, we got coffee together, dinner together, cinema together, everything together.’
It came as a sudden shock when he passed at home just eight months after being diagnosed with oesophageal cancer. ‘Afterwards, when I saw people walking their dogs or going up the road, I’d think, What are you doing? Why are you out there acting normal, like nothing’s happened?’ she says.
This time of year is particularly challenging for Jacqui and their grown-up daughter, Bianca, having lost Andy on New Year’s Day. ‘It’s not just Christmas, but that whole festive period feels more intense, because everyone needs to be joyous, and everyone’s getting together,’ she reflects.
Most Christmases are now spent with Andy’s mother, Mary, who has dementia. ‘We get on really, really well. I try to stay with her once a month,’ says Jacqui. And wherever she goes, Andy comes too, represented by a lit candle. ‘I light a candle for him every day, even when I’m staying in hotels. It’s his light, and it’s a must for me,’ she reveals.
Jacqui is a familiar face thanks to her regular TV work, and while this has largely drawn on her background in interior design and craft, she has also become skilled at interviewing. It was through an interview with Call the Midwife’s Stephen McGann about grief (on BBC1’s Morning Live, in 2022) that she began to share her own experience. Stephen was there to highlight his work with Marie Curie and the charity’s National Day of Reflection, and their chat was a meaningful one for Jacqui.
‘It really resonated for me, I could feel his emotion,’ she explains. She started crying, and what followed was a deeply human connection that spoke to a lot of viewers too. ‘We got loads of messages, people saying, “It’s OK”, and that it was nice to see that emotion coming through.’
Although Marie Curie was not involved in supporting her husband, having been a carer for Andy in his final months, Jacqui was able to relate to their work, and wanted to become involved with the charity.
‘Someone gave me a card after Andy passed away, saying, “You are stronger than you know and braver than you think” and I believe that it really helped. I am braver,’ says Jacqui. ‘That really taught me something. Andy made me feel confident and he made me feel that I could achieve anything if I wanted to. When that’s gone and you don’t have your biggest cheerleader any more, you have to be honest with yourself and just keep going.’
Jacqui and Andy met when she was managing a band, and they went on to run a record label together – just one of the many varied jobs she’s held over the years! But her background in fashion design led to her working on an interior makeover show – and the rest is history. She’s now known for her crafty tips with an eco-edge. TV talent runs in the family too, as her brother Paterson Joseph is a well-known actor from programmes including Casualty, Vigil and Peep Show.
Jacqui talks to Andy constantly, and feels his presence. She thinks he would have been particularly supportive and proud of her work with Marie Curie, having been the face of the BBC Lifeline Appeal in 2023 and helping to raise a whopping £12,000. ‘I know Andy would be so proud of me for doing that.’
As for advice for the newly bereaved, Jacqui suggests, ‘Take any support that you can, whether it comes from family, or an organisation. Seek that advice and look for that hand that will grab hold of you and help you through it.’
Jacqui has lots to look forward to, and still has many professional goals to tick off, including her own interview show. But she’s glad to have opened up publicly about her grief. ‘Talking about my loss has been good for me. People see me doing this and that, but they don’t know what’s going on behind it. No one’s got a label saying, “I lost my husband”, so it’s been good for me. And I will talk about my grief, and I’ll talk about my bereavement. I will talk about Andy forever.’
If you’re missing someone this Christmas, you may find it helps to talk it over. Marie Curie provides free support over the phone to anyone who is grieving after someone has died from a terminal illness. Their Support Line is open every day over the festive period. Call 0800 090 2309 or visit mariecurie.org.uk/support