We all know how hard the grieving process can be, and whilst a funeral can be the most difficult part of a loved one passing, it is something we must do to celebrate their lives and pay our respects. Despite the fact that we will all have a funeral at the end of our lives, it is a subject which some find very difficult to talk openly about.
Although you may have an idea of the kind of funeral you would like, are your family aware of your wishes? Everything from who you want in attendance to what you would like mourners to wear can be taken in to your own hands and be one less thing for your grieving family to worry about.
Recent research by Avalon has revealed how Brits want their funeral to be and the results are very interesting. One in 20 married women do not want their husbands at their funeral, a further eight per cent don’t want their brother there – and six per cent don’t want their boss to be at their send off.
The survey also revealed there is a definite stigma surrounding death, as only 20 per cent of people have discussed what they want at their funeral with their partner, while only six per cent have discussed it with their grown-up children.
At a time when emotions run high, having thought about your last wishes and discussed them with a partner, family and friends, and having them safely recorded in advance, will take the stress out of second guessing.
69 per cent of Brits think it is sensible to talk about funeral plans with family members before they die, while 80 per cent of Brits would like to take care of the cost of their funeral before they die.
The research was commissioned by Avalon, whose customers are able to buy funerals at today’s prices for a one-off cost or through instalments, meaning they could save their families thousands.
Avalon Commercial Director, Jo Darbyshire said: “Death is something that happens to everyone. If people do not plan for it there’s a real danger of leaving loved ones struggling to deal with finances, even borrowing money at high interest rates, at one of the most distressing times of their lives.
“It’s not just about money though, as it’s also hugely healing for families to know that they are giving someone the send-off they wanted.”
According to the survey, more than half (52 percent) of Brits wish to be cremated - with 21 per cent preferring the idea of a burial.
When it comes to the finer details of our funeral, it seems many of us have thought about everything, with 40 per cent already knowing what music they want played at their send off.
While 61 per cent want their funeral to be a celebration with lots of laughter, a more sentimental nine percent want their service to be a tearful and emotional affair.
But, the majority of Brits (39 per cent) want their loved ones to wear colourful clothing to their send-off, while 30 per cent think it more appropriate for guests to dress in more traditional black attire – and an off-the-wall three percent said they wanted people to turn up in fancy dress.
Jo’s top tips on funeral etiquette:
- Respect the wishes of the deceased, without question.
- If there was a nasty divorce, it is probably best if the divorced partner does not turn up at an ex in-law’s funeral.
- And if you are really struggling with knowing whether to attend, ask yourself whether your attendance would cause greater distress at an already difficult time.
- Often there isn’t a dress code but is assumed mourners will wear respectful attire in dark colours. Others, however may have a specific request for mourners to wear bright colours.
- Nowadays, it is often considered the norm that funeral flowers will be provided by the family and a donation (of about the same amount that would have been spent on flowers) will be sent to a charity, but it is always advisable to check in advance
To request your FREE copy of the Yours Guide to Pre-Paid Funeral Plans call 0800 088 2308 or visit www.yours.co.uk/funeralplanning to download on instantly!
- Find out more about funeral plans with Avalon