Who talks more nonsense – men or women?

Who talks more nonsense – men or women?

Whether we've misheard the saying somewhere along the way, or our brain just jumps ship when we're trying to scramble for the right word, we've all had that moment when complete nonsense just comes out of our mouths.

In fact, a new report from Privilege Insurance has found we talk gobbledigook more often we think, with one in two Brits (46 per cent) talking gibberish as much as three times an hour.

Three in four of us (73 per cent) are also using the wrong words when we're having a conversation, while more than half of us (57 per cent) use words that don't even exist.

And when it comes to the gender wars, the survey revealed that men are officially worse than women when it comes to talking rubbish, with blokes using the wrong words and phrases 55 per cent more often than their female counterparts.

More than half of us use words that don't even exist!

Among our most common howlers are saying "pacifically" instead of "specifically" (28 per cent), "arks" instead of "ask" (23 per cent), "genuinely" instead of "generally" (14 per cent), and perhaps most embrassingly, "crotch" instead of "crutch" (12 per cent).

Our most commonly misused words:

  1. "Affect" instead of "effect"- as in "It's starting to have an affect on me" (31 per cent)
  2. "Pacifically" instead of "specifically"- as in "I pacifically told him not to do that" (28 per cent)
  3. "Arks" instead of "ask"- as in "I need to arks him about that" (23 per cent)
  4. "Genuinely" instead of "generally"- as in "We genuinely go to bed at 11.30" (14 per cent)
  5. "Crotch" instead of "crutch"- as in "He's hurt his leg, so he's on crotches for the next three weeks" (12 per cent)
  6. "Flaunted" instead of "flouted"- as in "He falunted all the rules" (12 per cent)
  7. "Banter" instead of "barter"- as in "I bantered him down" (10 per cent)
  8. "Decimated" instead of "devastated"- as in "I was completely decimated" (9 per cent)
  9. "Photographic" instead of "photogenic"- as in "He's very photographic" (9 per cent)
  10. "Defiantly" instead of "definitely"- as in "I'm defiantly getting a pizza tonight" (9 per cent)
  11. "Commentate" instead of "comment"- as in "I heard him commentate on that the other day" (8 per cent)
  12. "Hearst" instead of "hearse"- as in "The funeral hearst" (8 per cent)
  13. "Stimulated" instead of "simulated"- as in "The experience was completely stimulated" (4 per cent)
  14. "Dribble" instead of "drivel"- "I refuse to listen to this dribble" (4 per cent)
  15. "Syringed" instead of "singed"- as in "I've just syringed my hair" (3 per cent)

And it seems we don't do much better with phrases either, with three quarters of those surveyed for the report having heard people getting key words wrong in well-known sayings.
The most commonly misused phrase is hunger pangs, with nearly one in three (28 per cent) admitting to saying or hearing people say "hunger pains" instead. "Wreck havoc" (22 per cent) comes next, followed by "out on a whim", which was mentioned by 20 per cent of people.

Over one in ten Brits have even threatened to "extract revenge" on someone

 "Escape goat" is also a common clanger,  keeping good company with "nip it in the butt" (18 per cent) and "for all intensive purposes" (16 per cent).
Just over one in ten (12 per cent) Brits have even threatened to "extract revenge" on someone and ten per cent have heard or used the phrase "let’s play it by year".

Our most commonly misused phrases:

  1. "Hunger pains" instead of "hunger pangs" (28 per cent)
  2. "Wreck havoc" instead of "wreak havoc" (22 per cent)
  3. "Out on a whim" instead of "out on a limb" (20 per cent)
  4. "Mute point" instead of "moot point" (20 per cent)
  5. "Beckon call" instead of "beck and call" (18 per cent)
  6. "Escape goat" instead of "scapegoat" (18 per cent)
  7. "Nip it in the butt" instead of "nip it in the bud" (18 per cent)
  8. "For all intensive purposes" instead of "for all intents and purposes" (16 per cent)
  9. "Extract revenge" instead of "exact revenge" (12 per cent)
  10. "Play it by year" instead of "play it by ear" (10 per cent)
  11. "Causal effect" instead of "cause and effect" (10 per cent)
  12. "Doggy dog world" instead of "dog eat dog world" (8 per cent)
  13. "Pigs and troughs" instead of "peaks and troughs" (6 per cent)
  14. "Don't roll on my parade" instead of "don't rain on my parade" (6 per cent)
  15. "Moveable beast" instead of "moveable feast" (5 per cent)

But for the moment when we can't even summon up the wrong word or phrase to use, it turns out we just make our words up.

The most commonly words we make up tend to blends of other words, such as "irregardless" (21 per cent), "supposably" (21 per cent) and "speriodically" (11 per cent).

Our most commonly made-up words:

  1. "Conflab" (34 per cent)
  2. "Irregardless" (21 per cent)
  3. "Supposably" (21 per cent)
  4. "Confuddled" (17 per cent)
  5. "Alphabeticise" (13 per cent)
  6. "Speriodically" (11 per cent)
  7. "Seriosity" (8 per cent)
  8. "Conversate" (8 per cent)
  9. "Approportion" (8 per cent)