A Mumsnet user has taken to the site to let off steam after being asked to give cash instead of more traditional presents when she’s a guest at a wedding.
She said that the invitation contained a ‘tacky poem asking for cash gifts’ and was upset for several reasons. Firstly because she was only an evening guest and not invited to the whole ceremony, and secondly because she can’t really afford a cash gift and is worried about looking ‘mean’.
She says: “My alternatives are to give a cheap but nice gift, or donate to the charity I know is close to the family’s heart.”
It’s an interesting field of etiquette that applies to most modern couples. If they have, as many now do, been living together for years before deciding to tie the knot, it’s unlikely they require the crockery, linens and other home furnishings that were essential to us as young brides, leaving home for the first time. Many of us received a much-needed bottom drawer or dowry chest filled with lovely bits and bobs to help make a house a home, and we remember feeling terribly grown up!
But as charming as this tradition was, perhaps a fully furnished home that’s been lovingly decorated by a couple in their twenties or thirties doesn’t need an onslaught of bedsheets, fancy cutlery and special dinner plates.
The post itself received a range of responses, with many people saying that asking for cash was unreasonable, especially for evening-only guests. Others, however, felt it was kindest to follow the couple’s request, even if she only gave a small token amount. Many thought that a bottle of fizz and a card was more than enough.
We’ve heard of couples asking for money towards a honeymoon or just to boost their savings, as well as those who still have a traditional gift list – do you have a strong opinion on whether money is an acceptable request?
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