Who would have thought it? Flares so long and wide they tripped you up; the tassels that knocked over glasses of beer and the crochet waistcoats that caught on door-handles are back in fashion. Never mind that Seventies styles weren't well, that stylish, they were often downright dangerous! Yet this year's high-street shops are packed with retro designs.
Good luck wearing wide-legged jeans and trousers. Ideally, you wouldn't be able to see your shoes at all, although even bending to look in a pair of high-waisted, stiff denim bell-bottoms was quite difficult. If your jeans just weren't wide enough, you simply cut the seam open and inserted the biggest triangle of fabric you could get away with to make it wider – much to your mum's disapproval. Mums weren't keen on loon pants either – they sat low on the hip, then fitted tight to the knees where they then flared extravagently. Mine were yellow and when I wore them teamed with a white smock made from an old sheet trimmed with broderie anglaise, I thought I was the height of cool. Hmmm.
Could the Seventies be in vogue because sewing is popular once more and these fashions are pefect for customising your wardrobe? It was the decade of adding embroidery, fringing and tie-dying just about everything. But Seventies clothes had that other essential ingredient to appeal to the young – they were over the top and impractical. What sensible adult would wear a suede jacket with masses of fringing that got wet, filthy and eventually rather smelly? Or float about in a maxi-dress made of so many yards of multi-patterned fabric that it resmembled a parachute? You felt like a Biba poster in your bedroom mirror, but spent most of the time with it bunched in both hands to stop it catching on every sharp corner.
Our feet didn't escape. Remember those dratted clogs that were so difficult to walk in? I can't count the number of times I fell off the backs as my feet moved but my beloved blue suede clogs stayed were they were.
The one fashion trend I'm amazed has come back is culottes. Those weird, cropped trousers that nobody wore unless they were a Bay City Rollers fan, are back in the shops. Think Don Estelle in It Ain't Half Hot Mum and you have the look.
And I wish all today's young people good luck with hot pants. My super-skinny friend Louise looked fab in her knitted ones with just a stripy tank-top and over-the-knee socks. I chose to hide mine underneath a cut-away skirt, because I didn't want to expose my typically British pear-shape to scrutiny. Not to mention that back then your hotpants had not just knickers but tights underneath them too. Hot and embarrassed sums it up. Even so, I'm glad I was a dedicated follower of fashion and gave it a go. After all, that's the fun of being young.
There's more nostalgia in every issue of Yours magazine, out every fortnight on a Tuesday