Intimately Speaking

By Julie Peasgood

Intimately speaking

30 May 2011 09:00


I’m sure we all know the expression ‘Silence is Golden’. In many instances that’s true, but not necessarily when it comes to the bedroom. Being a bit vocal between the sheets can be immensely arousing for your loved one, especially if you don’t usually tend to comment on the proceedings. And positive feedback is often both helpful and confidence-building.

If a partner is totally silent in bed it can be difficult to gauge their satisfaction. This happened to a divorced colleague of mine, who had waited three years before embarking on another relationship. She wasn’t sure if her new friend was in silent ecstasy or bored rigid, so asking him to indicate his feelings with sighs, groans or words (even just “don’t stop”) proved invaluable. She led by example too, with her own sexy whispers and sounds.

If the idea of making any kind of noise causes you to curl up with embarrassment, first try rehearsing with sounds when you’re alone. You should then find it easier to express yourself erotically with your partner. And speaking of rehearsal, it is OK to give a little direction under the duvet. Even if you’ve been together for years, you can’t read each other’s minds – and our needs vary over time.

Men may hate asking the way, but sometimes it’s necessary in order to find the best route from A to Ecstasy…